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TRADING PSYCHOLOGY
The Happy Trader
by Adrienne Laris Toghraie
What does happiness have to do with being a successful trader? Nothing, it seems. In fact, for most traders, successful trading and happiness may actually be in perpetual conflict.
Over the years, I have worked with many successful traders. Many of them were miserable, and only a handful of them were genuinely happy. Yet nearly all of the traders I have ever interviewed said they wanted happiness as their ultimate goal in life, while very few of them had actually achieved it. Why is it so unusual to find a trader who is both successful and happy? What is it about trading that makes it so difficult to sustain happiness? Is it possible to have it all?
Traders can find a way to bring together their two primary goals of being successful and being happy. This seemingly impossible achievement is made even more significant for traders by the fact that under the right conditions, happiness will not only support successful trading but promote it as well. The few happy and successful traders I have known learned how to balance their trading psychology so they could have it all. And we can learn from their experiences. There are several major causes of unhappiness among traders, all of which can be alleviated, if not eliminated completely.
ANXIETY AND THE TRADER
The first major cause of unhappiness among traders is anxiety. Many traders, especially many successful traders, spend all of their waking and even their sleeping hours worrying. But Barry had elevated worrying to an art. Seeking help for his anxiety, this successful trader came to one of the first seminars I ever presented on the psychology of trading.When he started out trading, Barry was very happy and fulfilled. Trading was exciting and challenging. BarryÕs early days of trading were like the early days of a romance, filled with happiness and the promise of future success. But the more successful Barry became, the more he began to face the trading day with growing apprehension and worry. He was anything but the happy trader he had once been.
What caused this change? Inevitably, Barry had experienced trading losses. And like most traders, he began to translate those losses into emotional pain. Even though Barry was an extremely good trader, he blamed himself for each loss as if it were a mistake, even when he traded by his systemÕs rules. Barry supported his family in a luxurious lifestyle, creating a comfortable and easy life for everyone but himself.
Although there was no time to address BarryÕs underlying problem at the single seminar he attended, I wanted to give him something that would effectively change his condition. So I asked Barry to find a very uncomfortable place near his office to sit and contemplate all that he had to consider -- all his negative thinking, all his worries and all his self-condemnation.
This seemingly simple exercise came with a set of rules. First of all, Barry had to set aside a certain amount of time each day for two weeks in which he would do nothing but feel miserable. And he had to promise to do whatever was necessary to maintain that feeling of misery. The result? Barry called me two weeks later to report that he had decided to worry for a couple of hours the first few days. After all, he had thought, this was a short period compared with the 16 hours a day during which he had been worrying beforehand.
Not long into this exercise, he said, a pattern began to emerge -- a continuous repetition of the same fears and anxieties played over and over in his mind. Another observation, however, was hard for him to admit. Barry realized that he derived a measure of enjoyment out of worrying. He modeled his worry from his mother, who took worrying Òvery seriously,Ó he explained. After she died, he kept her memory alive by assuming the trait of her worrying. It was at this time that he began to feel anxious about his trading.
After the second two weeks, he called me again and reported, ÒIÕm continuing the exercise even though I start laughing every time I look at that hard, marble bench in the park. Instead of keeping my motherÕs memory alive by worrying, IÕve started talking to her. I think sheÕs spending time in the Bahamas because now she tells me, ÔDonÕt worry, be happy.Õ Now, I canÕt even maintain five straight minutes of worrying. IÕm actually looking forward to a day of trading.Ó
What happened to stop Barry from worrying? In classic neurolinguistic programming, Barry had interrupted a negative habit that was controlling his thinking. Every time he laughed when he started to worry, he interrupted the normal pattern that made it possible for him to continue the reflexive habit of worrying.
Barry supported his family in a luxurious lifestyle, creating a comfortable and easy life for everyone but himself.
Adrienne Laris Toghraie is founder and head of both Trading on Target and Enriching Life Seminars. She may be reached at Trading on Target, 100 Lavewood Lane, Cary, NC 27511, 919 851-8288, fax 919 851-9979.Excerpted from an article originally published in the January 1998 issue of Technical Analysis of STOCKS & COMMODITIES magazine. All rights reserved. © Copyright 1997, Technical Analysis, Inc.